Skip to content

Nail Clippers, Tylenol, and ‘Pee Bags’: A Close Look at NFL Sideline Cabinets

Posted in:

Reader Jonathan Safron has season tickets for the Bears. His seats are right behind the visiting team’s bench, which gives him a good view of the various trainers’ cabinets that teams bring with them on the road. What you see above, for example, is the cabinet that the Dolphins had on the sidelines last Sunday. If you look closely, you can see that one of the labels says, “Pee Bags.” I guess it makes sense that they’d have those, but I’m a little surprised they don’t have a more clinical-sounding name for them. I’m also amused to see that there’s a pain-relief product called “Pain-Off,” which seems amusingly literal. Like, if they ever come up with a cure for cancer, will it be called “Cancer-Off”?

Here’s Washington’s cabinet, which features a lot of the same stuff (nail clippers, headache pills, etc.), but also includes a few items that Miami doesn’t have, including ChapStick. Also: No pee bags!

And here’s Houston’s cabinet. The resolution isn’t as good on this one, so the labels are harder to read, but you can still get the idea for most of them:

Once again: No pee bags! The clear message here is that the Dolphins rank near the bottom of the league in bladder control.

One thing I like from those last two photos is that the Commies and Texans both have lots of team-colored tape wraps on hand (for spatting, I assume).

Big thanks to Jonathan for sharing these shots with us — fun stuff!


Substack Reminder

In case you missed it on Wednesday, my latest Premium article on Substack is an all-time ranking of the 20 best orange uniforms. You can read a good chunk of the article here. In order to read the entire thing, you’ll need to become a paying subscriber to my Premium content on Substack, which I hope you’ll consider doing. Thanks!


Gift Guide Reminder

I’m currently working on my annual Uni Watch Holiday Gift Guide. If you have any suggestions for cool uni-, logo-, or design-related items (not the usual Fanatics-style stuff), please send them my way. Self-promotion is fine, so don’t be shy.

Thanks!

More on Uni Watch
Comments (17)

    Surprised they even have “pee bags”. My assumption was if a player has to go they head into the tent and there is a bucket or something similar there for them to go, some intern or low level training staff member is responsible for keeping it hygienic.
    I fully get the nail clippers being there, but find it sort of amusing that mid game a player would now realize they need to trim their nails.

    As an athletic trainer, it’s more of a situation where an athlete has a nail get broken or torn during a game or practice.

    I can kind of see the nail clippers though, because if you’ve ever played with toenails too long in tight shoes, your toes can be sore for days.

    A nail could be broken during play, and the trainer has to cut it off. That’s why they would use a nail clipper during a game.

    If a nail gets broken off are they using nail clippers? I understand what you are saying, but aren’t nail clippers used to trim back nails to the finger tip? If nails are seriously broken I’m thinking something else is used?
    Unless you are saying they aren’t trimming their nails in advance, break part of a long finger nail, and then have to even the rest out with the clippers? Perhaps just my own experience bias as someone who keeps their nails as short as possible.

    Not sure how a “pee bag” works (probably exactly how it sounds: you pee into a little disposable bag), but I read an article about NFL players relieving themselves, and it sounds like the typical methods are pretty gross. That is, the article said most players take a knee and just pee on the sidelines (discretely I assume) or in the huddle they just take a leak and no one really notices beyond their teammates. I also remember Mark Schlereth saying he would just pee his pants on the field, and that given all the sweating, etc., it didn’t really matter. Nast-O-Rama. With the medical tent, the pee in a bag method might work better these days.

    It wasn’t a coincidence that Mark Schlereth’s nickname was “Stink.” As for the urine bags – are they glorified sandwich bags or what healthcare facilities use minus the catheter – I wonder if Nick Novak was using one when CBS’ cameras captured this (SFW): link

    Pain-Off … like the “magic spray” many medical bags have for international football/soccer matches or are they trying not to disclose what kind of painkillers are being distributed/injected?

    According to google/webmd Pain Off is a combination of: ASPIRIN-ACETAMINOPHEN-CAFFEINE

    link

    Given that all the kits properly list the brands of Tylenol, Advil and Aleve, I’d guess that Pain Off is easily purchased as a single dose packaging for that combo of medication. They probably could have come up with a better name though.

    link

    “Pain Off” reminds me of “Head On” and their legendary commercials.

    HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD.
    HEAD ON, APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD.

    I’d be curious to know if the carts for teams that have diabetic players/staff contain diabetic supplies (finger poke kits, fast sugar snacks, etc.)

Comments are closed.