By Phil Hecken, with Jimmer Vilk
Got a fun one for you guys today.
What would happen if you combined the ugly, septic, vapid and yet endearingly utilitarian concrete donut stadia (lovingly referred to as “cookie cutters”) with the fun, wholesome and utterly charming practice of baking sweets? Yeah, I didn’t think I wanted to know either, but that’s where the inimitable Jimmer Vilk comes in.
Fresh off his high of Vilkanova winning the national title, and absolutely no threat to Paul’s Culinary Corner, Jim is here to present to you
his award-winning recipe the newest trend in gastronomic dystopia…
Cookie Cutter Cookies
By Jim Vilk
About a week ago, I was listening to the Sully Baseball Daily Podcast, where Sully talked about The Place Formerly Known As SkyDome installing a full dirt infield. The loss of the old sliding pits got Sully nostalgic for something I miss as well, the multipurpose “cookie cutter” ballpark.
The next day that show was still in my head when I read a comment in Uni Watch from uni-themed cookie baker Elena Elms. She was making Opening Day cookies, which made me think, someone should make Cookie-Cutter Ballpark Cookies! I then decided I should be that person, so I got to work on them.
Ironically, I didn’t use an actual cookie cutter to make these. I used old takeout container lids, which doubled as covers for the finished product.
Except for one cookie…look, a retractable dome!
Not all the cookie-cutter parks were equal, contrary to popular belief. Same with my cookies. Let’s just call my worst one The Vet.
All the cookies started out with sliding pits. When I remembered the grass parks had full dirt, I quickly added some brownish icing to one, ate the outfield seats and came up with Shea Stadium.
I used the same cookie, and my son’s phone, to bring Hank Aaron’s big night at Fulton County Stadium back to life.
By this time, I was taking requests on Twitter. Someone asked for the Trop, so I obliged.
I happened to have some things handy that brought to mind the best of the cookie-cutter parks, Busch Stadium.
Another stuffed animal gave me the inspiration for Riverfront Stadium.
Saving my favorite for last, I took an old post card and used it to bring back Three Rivers Stadium.
If you should ever happen to have a Cookie-Cutter Ballpark Cookie of your own, I’m not going to tell you how to eat it. This is how I do it, though…start at first base…
…make your way to second…
…then round third and head for home.
Thanks, Jimmer. You may have finally found your calling!
Uniform Tweaks & Concepts…
…from Uni Watch readers
For years, Uni Watch readers have been sending in their redesigns, concepts and tweaks for current (or future, or past) uniforms for all sports.
You can click on any images below to enlarge.
Up first today is Jonathan Shields, with a tweak of the Penguins:
Tweak of the Pens’ third-jersey. Made the sleeves completely yellow with a black-white-black stripe instead of their current half black/half yellow sleeve. Simple.
Next up is Christian VanDenBerghe with a twist on the Jazz’ logo:
A few months ago a local news source in Salt Lake city broke a story saying that the Utah Jazz were planning on getting rid of the mountain logo (primary) and making the note logo the new primary. To quote the article itself:
“The plan is to make the secondary “note” logo the primary logo, and invent a new secondary mark that hasn’t been used before. Ultimately, that will reduce confusion and result in improved merchandise sales. Data show that apparel with the primary logo sells significantly less than apparel with the note logo…”
I read this article and saw it as an opportunity to try and come up with a good Jazz secondary logo on my own. For months I’ve been trying to think and come up with one and I may have gotten a good idea. My logo draws on the geometric qualities of the note logo and uses the square shape of the state of Utah. It combines the initials of the team and our state into what I think is a pretty neat concept, but it’s still in the preliminary stages.. I LOVE your blog and read often. Would love your input on this concept logo!!
And we close today with Adam Vitcavage who has some new concepts for the Diamondbacks:
A while back I did a pretty crappy Diamondbacks concept (featured here).
I was pretty upset about this new “evolution.” I’m a teacher and did these concepts in between classes, so they are extremely rough. I figure we can use the current modern colors, but mix it with the World Series winning layout.
Home: bring back cream pinstripes. Keep current color scheme. New snake logo on arms. Traditional A on chest. I like two-tone hates, so I made those.
Away: bring back vest idea, but make it a pull over like Paul suggested in his ESPN piece to avoid “Z” being split. Keep current color scheme. Use new ARIZONA font (here’s where I just copy and pasted and it’s all choppy).
Can we have a contest to “fix” Diamondbacks and even the Padres (what they should have done, instead of half-assing it)? I want to see designers do their best on these latest “evolutions.”
UW’s Friday Flashback
In case you missed it, Paul’s Friday Flashback on ESPN looked at the Royals wearing their gold-trimmed championship uniforms for two games earlier this week, which took a look at the history of World Series champs wearing gold to open the season, and included looks at three teams (1906 NY Giants, 1921 Cleveland Indians and 1927 St. Louis Cardinals) who were a bit ‘bolder’ in proclaiming to the nation they were, indeed, defending World Series champions.
Great read, so be sure to check it out if you didn’t catch it on Friday!
Uni Watch News Ticker
Baseball News: Not quite sure what’s wrong with the color in this video, but it’s bad (from Robert Hayes). … The Gator Ladies (softball) have a new batting helmet (from Dave Doop). … The St. Lucie Mets wore Star Wars jerseys last night (via Jason Yellin). … Yowsa — the New Mexico Lobos went with the anthracite top and bottoms topped with a matte cherry helmet yesterday. … Nice look yesterday for Mississippi State (h/t MSU Baseball). … Speaking of brutal combos, Tennessee was at it again (from Senator Tom McElveen). Here’s a “better” pic (from sc1990). … Daniel Nelson asks, “am I wrong or does it seem like the Yankees roadies the New York had more of an arc this year?” Daniel wasn’t the only one to notice. … The New York Mets will be breaking out their 1986 throwback unis today (h/t Nathan Bryson & David Lugo). … Another team with pinstripes affected by the new Majestic flex base jerseys: Chicago White Sox (from Rob Ullman). … Check out this GO CUBS soda display (from Jeff Lagro). … The Diamondbacks wore their black alternate jerseys yesterday — dear god those pants are awful, and it shows how much better socks make that uni look (from Brandon). … On Friday night, Royals catcher Salvador Perez began the game wearing a catchers helmet with the gold “World Series champs” KC and noticed he was the only one, so he switched to the regular “KC” (in white) in the top of the 7th (pics from Bob Novotny). … Actor Rob Lowe had some commentary about the hairstyles going on at Great American Ball Park Friday (from Patrick O’Neill). … Here are several of the donated uniforms that DC little leaguers wear. The Nationals outfit DC little league (from William Yurasko). … According to Jared Carrabis “Pablo Sandoval is so fat that his belt exploded when he swung” (thanks to Mike Chamernik). Here’s a closeup, if you dare (from Denis Costello). … “The winning run in last night’s home opener in Seattle came from a great looking matchup of the high cuffs,” writes John Kimmerlein. “Sadly, it did not go the Mariners’ way.” … Houston and Milwaukee played a color vs. color game yesterday (from Jared Haack). … The good, the bad and the ugly all in one photo — great striped stirrups totally canceled out by camo (from Ashly Elam) — that’s Southeastern Louisiana vs. Lamar. … Jame Rock asks, “is this one of the TBTC hats the Cubs will wear for one their 100 years at Wrigley celebrations?” … The Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders are taking uniform design down a few notches this year.
NFL and College Football News: For those who keep track of such things, Minnesota Vikings running back Jerick McKinnon is going to change jersey number from number 31 to number 21. … Several tweeters noticed this and sent it in: during yesterday’s spring football practice, Stanford football wore jerseys with really old patches (so old, the PAC only had 10 teams back then). … Speaking of wearing “old” jerseys, Rex Henry says, “I checked out the spring game at NC State and attached a pic of the uniforms. Red is wearing 2015 jersey, with White in 2013.” … Here is some pretty interesting information on college conference championship rings (from Jeff Axel Bowman). … Tod Meisner writes, “might be hard to see, but digital down markers at @FootballAU spring game. SEC moving 2 these?” … Virginia Tech has an orange chrome helmet. Here’s what it looks like when the paint comes off (nice spot by Clark Ruhland). … The South Carolina Gamecocks helmet has a Palmetto helmet bumper (from Daren Stoltzfus). And here is a look at the Gamecocks uni combos for 2016 (from Andy Shain). Also note it looks like the ‘cocks are adding a matte black helmet (screengrab by Andy Shain). … Pretty cool field design for Auburn’s Spring Game (from Griffin Smith). … Did Clemson mistakenly leak new 2016 football uniforms? Here’s More on that. Hmm. Those screen grabs look awfully similar to mine — only mine were posted hours earlier. Be nice if people credited you when they steal your shit (like Andrew Lind was kind enough to do).
Hockey News: Yesterday we were treated to a color-vs-color (specifically gold vs. green (I know someone who would like that) in the Frozen Four Final (a matchup of Quinnipiac v. North Dakota). Here’s another look. From KLM and Mike Parlitsis respectively. … Yeah, that’s the ticket (from Nathan). … From an e-mail with the subject line “Zetterberg new era locker room hat redwing logo,” Peter Kuzdal notes, “I’ve noticed that the logo on Zetterberg’s normal game after hat is a little fatter than the real logo. It’s a new era hat but looks I guess chunkier. The wings feathers seems to be different and fuller.”
NBA/Basketball News: If you saw yesterday’s Uni Watch, I linked to an article on the ill-fated possible switch of the New Jersey Nets to the New Jersey Swamp Dragons (if you haven’t yet read it, it’s HIGHLY recommended). Well, it didn’t take long for someone to create new New Jersey Swamp Dragons unis for NBA 2K16 (from PCostello via Paul). … The Warriors are currently discussing the possibilities of a uniform that honors Oakland, where the city has played since 1961, according to multiple sources. … New uniforms for the Florida Gators’ women’s team? (from Kyle Baker). … The Bulls wore their red throwbacks at home against the Cavs last night (from Zach). … I have no context for this picture, but both teams have names below their uniform number (from Steve Tuck). To answer the tweeter’s question, I believe this happened in NBA All Star games (more than once) and Christmas unis as well.
Grab Bag: Here is a ‘mildly relevant article’ from the New York Times which comtains some information about State universities trademarking name of a state (nice find from Kurt Esposito, and also sent in by Ilana Hardesty). Who knew? … “This ad is from a 1970 Sports Illustrated,” says Bill Kellick. “Interesting to see a car company and a sock company teaming up on a promotion.” … UCLA men’s volleyball was rocking the men’s hoops jerseys last evening in Pauley Pavillion, like they did during the John Wooden years (h/t Johnny Rath).
That’s it for this weekend, folks. Enjoy the final round of the Masters today, the first full weekend of baseball, and all the soccer, hockey and basketball too! Thanks to Jimmer Vilk, the concepters and everyone who tweeted or submitted for the ticker. Everyone have a great Sunday, and I will catch you next weekend! Until then…
Follow me on Twitter @PhilHecken.
“(S)top being so goddamn pedantic, people!”
— Rob S.