The Kings have released their new City design. As you can see above, it’s really unattractive — purple and grey, yuck. But they’ve compounded the bad aesthetics by issuing a hilariously bad press release that is practically a master class in cringe-inducing marketingspeak. Even by the usual NBA/Nike standards, this document goes above and beyond (or maybe below and beyond) — I was literally hooting out loud as I read it.
Let’s parse the press release, line by line:
The 2022-23 season will mark the 10-year anniversary of the fight to keep the Kings in Sacramento.
Actually, the back-and-forth effort that resulted in the Kings staying in Sacramento was a complicated process that began in 2006 and unfolded over several years, with several significant benchmark dates. For example, in 2011 — 11 years ago — the Kings announced that they would not move to Anaheim. And by the time the NBA’s Board of Governors voted against the team’s proposed move to Seattle, the team’s 2012-13 season was already over. So referring to this as the 10th anniversary of the team not moving is a stretch.
This year, the Sacramento Kings City Edition uniform pays homage to fans who rallied and refused to back down with a passion and connection to their team that is unmatched in the NBA.
What exactly does it mean when you say a fan base “refused to back down” in response to a team’s proposed relocation? Like, did Brooklyn Dodgers fans “back down” when the team moved to L.A.? Did Hartford Whalers fans “back down” when their team moved to North Carolina? Also, as I just noted, the fans didn’t keep the Kings in Sacramento — the NBA’s Board of Governors did.
Also: Really, Sacramento fans have a passion that is “unmatched”? Literally the most passionate fans in the league? Hmmm.
For the first time in franchise history, the Kings have a gray uniform, a color inspired by the iconic Golden 1 Center.
Now, it’s true that the Kings’ arena is indeed grey. But really, that’s what “inspired” the color choice? Even though the arena’s name includes the word “Golden”? Also, this arena is “iconic”? Really?
Sacramento is placed on the front of the jersey for the first time since 2016 and set in a 10-year tin anniversary bevel.
Did you know that the 10th anniversary is the tin anniversary? It’s true! But tin generally isn’t equated with quality or premium status, at least not in our culture, so it’s odd that they’d use it as a marketing peg. Also, exactly what about the lettering is tin-y? How is it more like tin and less like other metals?
The trim on the side of the uniform resembles the architectural elements of the state-of-the-art arena located in the heart of downtown Sacramento. The words “Sacramento Proud” are placed within the trim on the side of the uniform to symbolize what connects the Kings to their team, to their city and one other.
Okay, so this is the usual “storytelling” silliness and retail gimmickry. Nauseating, but par for the course.
The Kings never forget where they are from and who they are playing for.
It’s pretty funny to say that the Kings, of all teams, “never forget where they are from,” because the Kings are literally from Rochester, Cincinnati, Kansas City, and Omaha — the franchise played in all of those cities before arriving in Sacramento! I guess the fans in all those other cities “backed down.”
The shorts feature the same purple architectural designs and the Sacramento Proud message. The primary logo set in the 10-year tin anniversary bevel on each side. A quote from Commissioner David Stern can be found near the bottom of the uniform that says, “We are keeping the team in Sacramento.”
Actually, that’s not quite what David Stern said, at least according to the quote on the jersey, which doesn’t quite match the quote in the press release:
Granted, the two quotes are basically synonymous. But why not make sure that they match? For the record, the quote on the jersey is correct; the one in the press release is wrong. So if you see any news articles with the wrong quote, that means they copy/pasted the press release without actually looking at the photos.
All of this nonsense aside, I still can’t believe they’re going with grey and purple. Yikes!