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On Purple Amnesty Day, Uni Aesthetics Take A Hit

By Phil Hecken

We all have our good days and our bad days. Uniforms? Yep, they work that way too.

Yesterday was (as you should all be aware) the infamous “Purple Amnesty Day” on Uni Watch, and (coincidentally?) the whole uni-verse, or at least my universe, went just a little haywire. And it has nothing to do, per se, with Paul’s favorite day to honor his least favorite color.

First, the Purple Amnesty (PA) t-shirt offering:

I don’t hate purple like Paul does, but it’s far from my favorite color — I have to say, however, that this year’s PA shirt is awesome. Purple is a rough color to have as a primary team color, and in my opinion, very few teams who sport the color wear the “correct” shade. By correct, I mean to me — and that shade would be any of the three “smaller” stripes shown on the shirt above — the larger (and bottom/base) shade contains too much blue (to my eye). More white and/or red in the purple is a much more aesthetically pleasing shade. In the words of Jimmer Vilk, “I’d Wear That!” — unfortunately, with finances at a bit of a premium due to well, lack of a full-time job, I had to pass on purchasing it this year. Hopefully that one is available again.

But it says something when I consider the PA shirt to be the best “uni” offering of the day.

Now, at this point, you may be saying, “What has this got to do with the splash photo … or anything really???” I hear you. But what does John Daly (pictured in the upper left of today’s splash) have to do with anything? Well, this one’s personal.

First, I love John Daly. I think he and I have traveled some of the same life roads. He was the original “Grip It and Rip It” guy, and before Tiger Woods came along, was one of the more entertaining players on the PGA Tour. He was also pretty good at golf (he won the 1991 PGA and the 1995 Open, both of which I watched) but was undoubtedly more famous for his off-course antics than any abilities on it. Because he’s a former PGA Champ, he gets an exemption to play the tournament (he’s ranked like one million or something now) and a shell of his former self (not literally, as he’s still larger than life in many ways). I also love JD because he wears Loudmouth Pants — which you may recall were the sartorial choice of the Norwegian Curling team. I happen to own a few pairs, and many in the curling world now sport Loudmouth Pants due to the Norsemen. The Long Island Curling Club, which counts me among the membership, have not one but TWO custom pairs of curling pants. Our most recent set feature our distinctive 10th Anniversary logo.

So why am I telling you about curling and John Daly when talking aesthetics. Here’s why. Or rather, here’s what JD wore yesterday, during his final round of the PGA (I say his final round because, shockingly, he missed the cut).

If you can’t quite make out the design on the pants, here’s a closer look:

Yes, those say “Folds of Honor” and that’s a nice charity n’all and today is Armed Forces Day, etc. I have no problem with him wearing those pants. But here’s the thing: back last summer when the LICC were having our special 10th Anniversary pants designed by Loudmouth, our order was delayed for about a week, as Loudmouth received a last minute request to produce one more pair. That pair wasn’t for any club member, though. Can you guess who ordered them?

That’s right, JD was so “impressed” with our design he asked for a pair to be made custom for him — with the rationale being he’d wear them for the PGA, since it’s being played at the Bethpage Black (a course I have played many times) and which is right in our backyard. It would have been perfect. Only he didn’t wear them yesterday. He also didn’t wear them the first day of the tourney, when he went with another NY theme, wearing Yankee logoed pants. He also didn’t wear them for any of the practice rounds. So, after all that hope — at least for myself and many members of my curling club — JD whiffed.

I still love him, but I was really expecting/hoping/praying he’d bust out “our” pants yesterday. Alas…it didn’t happen.

Sadly, these days JD is more of a caricature than a golfer.

• • •

Next up: an MLB Player’s Poll on Best Uniforms was unveiled yesterday. It got a bit of mileage on Twitter, mostly for the teams either not chosen (like the Tigers) or the teams selected by the players. OK, if you read that, you’ll see that yes, a couple of the classically attired teams (Dodgers, Yankees) received the most votes, with the Braves in second and the Cardinals tied for 5th. All well and good, I’d put each of those in the top 5 (I’d add the Tigers and A’s in there for a solid top 6).

Before I get to the surprises, a quick codicil: only 85 players voted and they weren’t allowed to select their own team. Now, I thought MLBers would display as fine a sense of aesthetic as we here at Uni Watch do, but I was wrong. The mere fact that the D-backs received ANY votes, much less five, is disconcerting at best. Do approximately 6% of ALL MLBers think the D-Backs have the best uni in the bigs? Seriously? With the exception of their throwbacks (which aren’t great) every single uni set the D-Backs have is awful. At least to me (and I’m sure many of you). Yet, in the very limited sample size, 5 of 85 polled players picked it as the best uniform. Not top 10, not top 5, but the best. I mean, c’mon man…

…is that seriously a better uni than this or this or this? No.

• • •

But the worst news of all yesterday wasn’t unexpected. Yep, MLB has decided to move it’s military love-fest from Memorial Day (when it was completely inappropriate) to Armed Forces Day, which is today, when it is more appropriate. The problem, of course, is in an effort to show it really wants to sell camo shit how much it loves America, it has turned AF Day into Armed Forces weekend, which means not only did teams bust out the camopander caps yesterday, they’ll be wearing them today AND tomorrow as well.

We all knew this was coming (just another specialty cap sale for MLB), and yet, every year, camo caps (or camo unis or camo accented uniforms) look like shit when worn with … well, anything. They certainly don’t belong on a baseball diamond. Yes, that ship has long since sailed and yes, I must hate America because I dislike MLB teams wearing camo.

I won’t waste (much) more space on this blight on the uni-verse, because, of course, the camopandering wasn’t restricted solely to the caps. No, we got the usual (and not so usual):

Normally the Brewers EQ guys go above and beyond on throwback/specialty uniforms — but when it comes to stuff like putting a pink brim & BiG logo on helmets worn on Mother’s Day, they sometimes go a little too crazy. This weekend, as you can see above, the team has a camo BiG logo on an olive helmet. Enough.

Other teams simply wear their regular helmets, which look much better (especially when the uniform is, mercifully, camo-free):

In addition to the camo caps, footwear, socks and more all get the treatment.

From the ridiculous…

…to the sublime:

You get the idea — I needn’t show any more.

But (un)fortunately, since the wearin’ o’ the camo is new for Armed Forces day weekend, some folks mistakenly thought teams were still doing the camo thing over Memorial Day weekend:

Ignorance is bliss, right? Fortunately, Paul set them straight:

I’ll give MLB credit for ONE thing: at least they moved the camo to Armed Forces “Day” as opposed to Memorial Day, but that’s all. There’s no need for ANY of these theme weekends (Mom’s Day, AF Day, Pop’s Day, Mem Day, Independence Week, Players Weekend) — and it’s all too much.

Another thing: at least ONE team won’t be wearing the camo caps all weekend: the Cincinnati Reds. They’re scheduled to wear their 1912 Throwback Uniform this Sunday (May 19). Yeah, that’s gonna be a real shit-show matchup with the Dodgers, who I imagine will be wearing CAMO caps that day. Thanks, MLB.

Sorry for the rant folks. I just had to get those few things off my chest — I don’t want to say PA day had anything to do with anything else that happened yesterday — but rare is the day when the best looking garment is worn by the guy who is damn near made physically ill by the sight of it!

Colorize This! Returns…

…with George Chilvers

Long time readers know that for years I’ve run a feature on Uni Watch called “Colorize This!” which feature the colorization efforts of Uni Watch readers, most often run as a sub-lede. Lately I haven’t had any submissions for this, although I have done a few ledes with new colorizers being featured.

Today, long time friend and colorizer (colouriser) extraordinaire George Chilvers is back with a few fantastic colorizations. Great to hear from George and pleased he’s made a triumphant return! Click to enlarge both the colorized photo as well as the original that is beneath it!

Here’s George:

• • • •

Hi Phil

Haven’t been in touch for a while, so I thought I’d give you a little melange of some of my recent work. I have spread across different sports and subject matter taking in action, team group and individual.

• • •

We have the 1948 Olympics 5000m final. In the lead is the great athlete Emil Zatopek of Czechoslovakia, followed by Erik Ahlden of Sweden, Gaston Reiff of Belgium and Willem Slijkhuis of Holland. I was surprised to discover that Zatopek didn’t actually win this – Reiff took the gold medal with Zatopek and Slijkhuis also gathering medals. Reiff’s winning time was a new Olympic record of 14:17.6. For reference the current world record is 12:37.35. Of note is how ageing was the life they led (and remember three of these were from countries that had been under German occupation). At the time of the race Zatopek was 25, Ahlden was 24, Reiff 27 and Slijkhuis also 25.

• • •

In the early 1960s Rochdale Hornets rugby league team recruited a number of Fijians to play for them, an amazing leap at the time. Imagine the absolute shock they would have had coming from Fiji to a wet and dismal town to the north of Manchester. This picture that I have colourised shows the team on 28 May 1963 with Joe Levula, Voate Drui and Laitia Ravouvou. I think I have perfected the technique of colourising mud though :)

• • •

And finally and very different is one that your readers will probably know more about than I will; George ‘Win’ Mercer, Washington pitcher about 1896.

• • •

Hope you’re all keeping well.

Best wishes from a rather confused UK ;)


Thanks George! Great stuff as always. PLEASE let him know if you enjoyed this so he graces us with more of these beauts in the future!

Uni Concepts & Tweaks

After being dormant for a while, the Uni Tweaks/Concepts have returned!

I hope you guys like this feature and will want to continue to submit your concepts and tweaks to me. If you do, Shoot me an E-mail (Phil (dot) Hecken (at) gmail (dot) com).

• • •

I received the following e-mail from Thomas Juettner, who has four San Diego Padres tweaks. With the Padres “bringing back the brown” (although we don’t know in what capacity) for 2020, I’m sure we’ll have a bunch of Padres concepts in the coming weeks and months:

Hi Phil,

Here’s a version of the soon to be brown and gold Padres. The “Padres” script is hand drawn and the “SAN DIEGO” is a modified version of the 90’s road look.


Tom Juettner

Home & Road:

Alternate 1 & Alternate 2:

• • •

Thanks Tom. OK readers (and concepters). If you have some tweaks or concepts, shoot ’em my way with a brief description of your creation and I’ll run ’em here.

Guess The Game…

from the scoreboard

Hey. Remember when we used to play this game? It’s been a long time (maybe five or six years?). Anyway, I am not sure I’ll be bringing it back, but during the week, reader Mike Engle sent this in to me.

The premise of the game (GTGFTS) is simple: I’ll post a scoreboard and you guys simply identify the game depicted. In the past, I don’t know if I’ve ever completely stumped you (some are easier than others), and I’d rank this one as probably a 2 or 3 on a 1 to 10 difficulty score.

Here’s the Scoreboard. In the comments below, try to identify the game (date & location, as well as final score). If anything noteworthy occurred during the game, please add that in (and if you were AT the game, well bonus points for you!):

If you guys like this, and want to have this as a weekly feature, let me know in the comments below. And if anyone wants to send me any scoreboard photos (with answers please), I’ll keep running them.

The Ticker
By Anthony Emerson

Baseball News: Red Sox IF Michael Chavis infuriatingly wore camo socks for Armed Forces Day Weekend yesterday. You play for the Red Sox, Michael! It’s in the name! (from @CherryGarcia92). … Dodgers P Rich Hill appears to be wearing a knee brace on his left knee during last night’s game, which he sprained in Spring Training (from Jakob Fox and Max Wagner). … The Bowie Baysox, Double-A affiliates of the Orioles, wore jerseys designed by a fourth-grader last night, and will again tonight (from Marcus Hall). … The Orix Buffaloes threw back to their era as the Kinetsu Buffaloes yesterday (from @GraveyardBall). … The Atlantic League’s newest team, the High Point Rockers, appear to have “Inaugural Season” lettering beneath their wordmark (from Michael Harris). … An OU baseball fan at yesterday’s game had beer cans as hair rollers (from Sam McKinley). … Both teams in this Oklahoma high school baseball tournament Get It™ (from Jason Wood). … Atasocita (Tx.) High also Gets It™ (from Dwight Ternes). … Gorgeous baseball sweaters from the Peacock School for Boys. Picture is from 1898 (from Bud Brooks). … The Massanutten Military Academy in Virginia has poached the Brewers’ ‘M’ logo (from Chris Gellner). … The Cubs’ Kyle Schwarber had a rather visible rip in his pants last evening (from Matt Shepardson). … Here’s another look (from JD).

NFL News: Comedy site Cracked poked fun at the NFL’s logo — among other corporate logos — in this piece (from Marcus Hall). … US Bank Stadium was undergoing a turf removal yesterday, with the new turf to be installed today (from James Gilbert). … Back in April, something called Fanjuicer asked 5,065 NFL fans from around the world to rank every NFL uniform. The Saints came out on top, and the Bucs are last (thanks, Phil).

Hockey News: Hurricanes captain Justin Williams wore a Whalers cap during his post-game interviews following the Canes’ sweep by the Bruins (from James Beattie). … Our clearest sign yet that a Canucks redesign is coming is the official team store offering huge discounts on current merchandise (thanks, Phil). … Yesterday, we ticked an item about how the Halifax Mooseheads were teasing what their commemorative unis would be for the opening game of the Memorial Cup. Today, Wayne Donner sends along this clip from Coach’s Corner of Don Cherry revealing the sweater the Mooseheads will be wearing at around the six minute mark, and Wade Heidt sends along the Mooseheads’ formal announcement of the unis. … Woah, check out these awesome Ross Taylor-designed pads for Daniel Svedin of the — you guessed it — Hamilton Steelhawks.

NBA News: We haven’t seen this year’s NBA Draft caps, but Ja Morant appears to be holding a bunch in this promotional shot (from Chris Dougherty). … Infinite regression on the newest cover of SLAM (from Mike Casey). … Don Schauf sends along some great shots of the Bucks’ first ever game, from October 1968.

Soccer News: Celtic FC will wear a patch to honor the National Famine Memorial Day, commemorating the victims of the Great Irish Famine (from Ed Żelaski). … Also from Ed: Hertha Berlin won’t wear their specially-designed ‘Diversity Shirt,’ dropping it for their regular home kit with a rainbow advertisement. It should be noted that Hertha fans were not upset that the club was including a rainbow motif on the kits, but the fact that the original Diversity Shirts looked nothing like the blue-and-white stripes of Hertha Berlin (also from Josh Hinton). … Ajax defender Matthijs De Ligt  has slits cut in his shorts because his thighs are so big (from Adam Yarnevich). … Also from Adam: Then-captain of Italy Andrea Pirlo has his captain’s armband upside down in this c. 2004 photo. … Check out the various Australian-Croatian elements of this jersey up for auction (from Lucan Denfield). … The following are all from Josh Hinton: Manchester United’s new road kit has been leaked, and supporters — myself included — are not happy. The two different shades of gold for the Chevy advert and the kit itself make the Chevy advert look even worse, if that was possible. … Inter Milan’s away kit has been leaked. … All of Southampton’s kits have been launched, with a cheeky Fyre Festival parody as the launch video, which is relevant as those kits are almost as big a disaster as the Fyre Festival itself (also from Mike MillerGabriel Hurl and Samuel C. Williams).

Grab Bag: New jerseys for the Bulgarian national volleyball teams (from Jeremy Brahm). … If you can’t tell the teams apart in this Super Rugby match, I don’t blame you. One of the worst kit clashes I’ve ever seen (from Mick Del).

That Will Do It For Today… but a word of caution. Today I open up the family summer place — which means a lot of busy work AND waiting/hoping the cable/internet guy shows up, AND making sure it all works. As such, I’ll have a post tomorrow, but we may be ticker-less or possibly just have a much smaller ticker than usual. Hopefully, everything will go smoothly, and you won’t even notice the difference, but just letting everyone know. Thanks, in advance, for your patience.

Comments (27)

    The scoreboard is the Dennis Martinez perfect game in 1991 for the Expos at the Dodgers.

    We were on family vacation and staying in a hotel very close to Dodger Stadium. I begged my dad to go to that game, but he said no as we were already dragging my sister to an NFL exhibition game later in the trip and it wasn’t fair to make her go to two sporting events on our vacation.

    She’s softened a little on sports. Now she attends our kids’ games wearing a shirt that says “I just hope both teams have fun.”

    El president, el perfecto. I believe it was Dave Van Horne and if so one of his finest lines

    Thanks for the kind words, Phil.
    Just to correct “my bad” (as I believe the phrase is over there :) )- the Zatopek picture is from teh 5,000m final, not the 1,500 as my brain freeze made me write.

    The scoreboard is from Dennis Martínez’s perfect game at Dodger Stadium. El Presidente, El Perfecto!

    Just a note on Chilvers’ note. The time of 14 minutes for the Olympics’s mile equivalent would be really slow. Thank goodness that’s actually the end of the famous finish for the 5,000 meter event that year. Even though it’s in the Chilvers text, you may want to correct that.

    Thanks for the kind words.
    My bad, as they say, the Zatopek picture is from the 5000m final, not 1500m.

    Guess a few guys beat me to the punch about the scoreboard. One semi-interesting note is that while Dennis Martinez was throwing his perfect game, Dodgers pitcher Mike Morgan threw a gem of his own. Morgan pitched a complete game & the two runs he gave up were unearned.

    I don’t think it’s odd at all that some MLBers prefer Arizona’s modern uniform design to the classic designs which are 1940s & older era (in the Dodgers, Yankees, & Cardinals) case. The Diamondbacks design is considerably less radical than say… the Tequila Sunrise Astro uniforms were in the 1970s.

    I am guessing that the Pajama pants/rediculous cleats wearing MLBers voted for the D-Backs.

    As a Diamondbacks fan I also hate their current uniforms. I love tradition, so their reason to change colors, the colors they won their only World Series in, is BS. However if they really felt they needed to change because another team in their division has purple, Colorado, then just go with black and teal. I actually like their teal/turquoise trim on some of their current uniforms. Also the darker shade of gray for their road uniforms have grown on me and I like that they are original with this. However it’s horrible with their black jerseys, making them look like the umpires.

    Isn’t it possible MLB players’ uniform poll answers were not on the level?

    Other than the dark grey, I’ve never understood what’s so awful about the Diamondbacks uniforms. They’re fairly standard baseball uniforms with what I think is a very nice wordmark, which is much better than the prior “D-BACKS” uniforms. An awful baseball uniform is something like Tampa or San Diego, just horribly boring.

    I was going to say the dark gray road uniforms are the best thing about the Diamondbacks’ current set…

    So, could John Daly be the inspiration for Uni Watch themed pajama pants in the same pattern?

    Re: Padres’ tweak. Not a headspoon guy but other than that the home and road look good. Not a fan of alternates, but good effort.

    Re: Rockies. Not a fan of black on the uniform itself. Cap is fine. Would lpve to see purple pinstripes.

    Not that we need another, but the NAL (National Arena League) Jacksonville Sharks are wearing a red/black/white camo for Military Appreciation Day.

    I’ve been watching arena / indoor football for many years; these are unattractive jerseys.

    Two years ago during Fathers Day weekend, the Reds and Dodgers dispensed with the light blue caps and other attire that Saturday because the Reds were unveiling the Pete Rose statue. So it’s not out of the realm that, if the Reds are in turn-back-the-clock uniforms tomorrow, the Dodgers could wear their normal uniforms and caps.

    There’s no need for ANY of these theme weekends (Mom’s Day, AF Day, Pop’s Day, Mem Day, Independence Week, Players Weekend) — and it’s all too much.

    We agree on almost nothing, Phil, but I TOTALLY agree with this statement.

    Red Sox IF Michael Chavis infuriatingly wore camo socks for Armed Forces Day Weekend yesterday. You play for the Red Sox, Michael! It’s in the name!

    Thank you, Anthony.

    Welcome back, George.. I missed you.

Comments are closed.