Yoenis Cespedes: A Man of Many Appetites

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We already knew Mets outfielder Yoenis Cespedes liked shellfish. (That’s him above, after devouring a slew of crabs following a game in Baltimore last year.) Now it turns out he’s also very particular about his waffles.

I learned about this while reading the latest piece by my pal Ken Davidoff, who’s a columnist for The New York Post. He’s one of many writers who’ve weighed in this week on the topic of Cespedes’s cars. But buried within his article was something much more interesting than the boilerplate car info: “On Wednesday, [Cespedes] asked a team employee to drive to a nearby Target to purchase a waffle-maker that makes round, not square, waffles. That’s how he likes his waffles.” Then I checked and found that Newsday had done an entire piece on Cespedes’s preference for round waffles.

I think that qualifies as the most obscure detail about a player I’ve ever heard. It also raises the intriguing issue of waffle design, which is more complex than you might think (and is way more interesting than tricked-out cars). It’s not just an issue of square vs. round — there’s also small-tread vs. Belgian, and let’s not forget grommeted vs. non-grommeted.

There’s really no wrong choice to make on these variables, because there’s no such thing as a bad waffle. Waffles are awesome! That said, I do have my own preferences: I like a square, small-tread waffle. I use Bisquick to make my batter, but I add cinnamon and vanilla to the mix. I usually add walnuts too, and either raisins or chopped apples.

Whichever style you favor, everyone should own a waffle iron. They’re cheap (especially if you find a used one at a church thrift store), they last forever (I got mine in college — that’s about 30 years ago — and it’s still going strong), they make delicious waffles (duh), and they’re also good for a wide range of other culinary applications.

In a truly enlightened society, the state would just provide everyone with a waffle iron and tax us accordingly. But alas, human civilization has not yet achieved such a Shangri-La, so it’s up to us to acquire our own means of waffle production. Cespedes may not have good taste in compression sleeves, but he knows an essential appliance when he sees one. Follow his lead and get yourself a waffle iron, pronto. You’ll be glad you did.

Is there anything he can't do?! @ynscspds making waffles for breakfast. #Mets #SpringTraining pic.twitter.com/bI11V9HtYF

— New York Mets (@Mets) February 22, 2016

Meanwhile, that Newsday story about Cespedes had two notes that caught my eye:

• “Cespedes has been known to smoke cigarettes in the dugout before games.” Really? I checked around and found confirmation from another beat writer. Jeez.

• “[Mets manager Terry] Collins remains a stickler for the uniform, and he said he may approach Cespedes about wearing his cap properly on the field. (He’s known to wear it backwards or even dispense with it altogether, as he’s done this week, when he has worn a black skullcap.)” At least one other Mets beat writer said the same thing, but Collins then said he’s okay with the backwards cap after all. So there you go.

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Friday Flashback: It was 25 years ago this month that the 49ers unveiled and then retracted their disastrous “Oops, never mind” helmet design (held in the photo above by coach George Seifert and team owner Eddie DeBartolo Jr.), and that’s the topic for my latest Friday Flashback column on ESPN. Lots of things have been written about this helmet over the years — I’ve discussed it a fair amount myself — but I’m pretty sure today’s column is the most thorough, exhaustive look the story has received to date. Check it out here.

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Not bad: In case you missed it yesterday, Vice Sports ran a big profile on me and my work. My thanks for the writer, B. David Zarley, for doing such a nice job, and to the many of you who had nice things to say about the piece after reading it yesterday.

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Ask and ye (or at least I) shall receive: Last week I mentioned how reader Dan Pfeifer had visited Uni Watch HQ and brought me some Nueske’s bacon. “And if anyone from Nueske’s is reading this,” I added, “allow me point out that the coveted title of ‘Official Bacon of Uni Watch’ is currently vacant. Just sayin’.”

It turns out that someone from Nueske’s was reading that, because yesterday a package showed up at my house with all the items you see above. The meats, running roughly clockwise from top-left, are smoked beef; smoked liver sausage; summer sausage; smoked hot dogs; Canadian bacon; smoked pork chops; and more of that wonderful bacon.

Yowza! With a haul like that, I’d say “Official Bacon” is an insufficient title. So let’s go ahead and name Nueske the Official Smoked Meat Purveyor of Uni Watch (at least until some other company comes along and dumps even more meat on my plate). Big thanks to them for sending this stuff my way.

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Gromm•It update: This is turning out to be quite a day for food-based content, what with the waffles and the smoked meats and now the grommetized sushi. Additional photos over on Gromm•It.

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The Ticker
By Paul

’Skins Watch: With the ’Skins scheduled to play in London this October, two members of British Parliament have urged NFL commish Roger Goodell to change the team’s name or, in their words, “at the minimum, send a different team to our country to represent the sport, one that does not promote a racial slur.” ”¦ A group in Ontario wants to bar students from wearing ’Skins or Indians jerseys, or any other clothing with “pejorative indigenous names, logos, and mascots.” Further info here (from Mike O’Connor and Phil, respectively). ”¦ Here are one designer’s concepts to redesign the U. of North Dakota’s teams under their new Fighting Hawks name. ”¦ Meanwhile, due to an odd legal situation, UND recently had to market a line of Fighting Sioux merch, even though that team name is now banned (from Mike Styczen).

Baseball News: New personal logo for Orioles 3B Manny Machado (from Rick Friedel). ”¦ Speaking of the O’s, they have lots of people changing uni numbers (from Andrew Cosentino). ”¦ New uni number for Mariners OF Franklin Guitierrez, too (from @thA_Pandabear). ”¦ The Cubs’ promo schedule includes plans to wear 1916 throwbacks on July 6. ”¦ Those orange Tigers caps look so bad. ”¦ The Birmingham A’s had some very cool stationery. ”¦ Oh baby, check out this awesome 1914 Goldsmith uniform catalog cover (from BSmile). ”¦ Yesterday’s Ticker mentioned that Mets P Bartolo Colon was adding an accent to his NOB, but we didn’t have a photo. Today we do (thanks to Paul Deaver). ”¦ Braves C Tyler Flowers is the first MLB backstop to try out a new kind of mask with a suspension system. The video embedded in that story is worth watching (from Michael Rich). ”¦ The White Sox announced that they’ll add a memorial patch for exec Eddie Einhorn, who passed away earlier this week. No visuals yet (from Steve Johnston). ”¦ Speaking of Einhorn, check out this 1983 shot of him wearing a warm-up jacket patterned on the Chisox’s beach blanket jerseys. Don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. ”¦ And speaking of the Chisox, lots of great views of their 1981 leisure suit unis in this video clip (good find by Tris Wykes). ”¦ New uniforms for Tennessee softball (thanks, Phil). ”¦ Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: The Brewers have removed the piping from their white and grey pants this year. ”¦ UNC is so argyle-happy that they even put argyle decals on their bases (from James Gilbert). ”¦ Sanvannah’s new college summer league team will be called — wait for it — the Savannah Bananas. And I think we can tell without checking that that logo is a Brandiose job (from @jeffreybigmoney). ”¦ Astros-themed alternates for the Fresno Grizzlies (from Jared Buccola). ”¦ Jarae Thurmond, who serves in the U.S. Navy, notes that the Padres’ new navy camouflage design is basically the same as a concept that he submitted to Uni Watch back in 2010. … Here’s our first on-jersey look at the Braves’ Turner Field final-season patch (from @TrenT1994).

NFL News: For reasons that aren’t clear, at least to me, the Pro Football Hall of Fame is selling a Colts “Super Bowl XLIV” champs T-shirt. The Colts, of course, lost that game to the Saints (from George Miller). ”¦ UCLA LB Myles Jack, who will presumably be drafted by an NFL team, has signed with Under Armour (from Tim Dunn). ”¦ Here’s a detail you may have forgotten: In 1986 the 49ers wore a 40th-anniversary patch on their left hip. Definitely one of the weirder patch placements in sports history. Here’s a closer look at the patch design — note that they left out the hyphen between “Forty” and “Niners” (from @familyman186317). ”¦ Check it out: Electric football is back! (Thanks, Phil.) ”¦ The 49ers sent a bunch of team merchandise to a homeless man (from Brinke).

College and High School Football News: Marshall’s team was given a set of WWE-style title belts (from @cDubya242). ”¦ A new study indicates that pricey football helmets aren’t any safer than less expensive models.

Hockey News: Colgate is moving to a new arena next season, so they’re wearing throwbacks to mark their last game at the old rink (from John Muir). ”¦ Denver’s “Mega-Boone” banner, which went missing after last weekend’s outdoor game against Colorado College, has been found (from Kary Klismet). ”¦ Not sure what the story is behind this St. Louis Blues motorcycle, but it’s pretty cool. ”¦ This latest Blue Jackets poster might be their best one yet. ”¦ Here’s something new, at least to me: a baseball cap with hockey skate laces. After I retweeted that post, Brady Phelps informed me that these caps are from a company called Lacer Headwear.

NBA News: Bulls player Mike Dunleavy referring to the team’s odd lineup on Wednesday night: “I had to look at the names on the back of the jerseys. I didn’t even recognize some of them.” ”¦ NBA team logos as 1980s cartoons? Sure, why not (from Andrew Rader). ”¦ When Bucks C Joel Przybilla’s jersey went missing for a 2002 game, he had to wear a NNOB jersey.

College and High School Hoops News: Great photo of a 17-year-old Lew Alcindor in his high school basketball uni (from Stuart Ciske). ”¦ Weber State is adding a memorial patch for the school’s golf coach, who recently passed away (from Sean L). ”¦ The Mount Vernon Mustangs — that’s a high school team in Iowa — have “Stangs” on their chest (from Jesse Gavin).

Soccer News: An Afghan boy who became an internet sensation for wearing an improvised Lionel Messi jersey made out of a plastic bag has been sent the real thing by Messi.

Grab Bag: New logos for the upcoming Nintendo games Pokémon Moon and Pokémon Sun. ”¦ Indie-rocker Sufjan Stevens has a record coming out star-shaped vinyl based on the stars in the Chicago flag (from Jimmy Lonetti). ”¦ Two Christian schools said they would stop buying their uniforms from Lands’ End after the company honored feminist icon Gloria Steinem. The company then apologized. ”¦ New logo for the Little Rock Regional Chamber. ”¦ The Spokane Empire — that’s a minor league football team — have a new mascot (from Brad Iverson-Long). ”¦ The typeface on highway signage is going to change (from Tony Tengwall). ”¦ Virginia Tech’s women’s lacrosse team has been fitted with custom-molded ear sensors that will measure head acceleration (from Andrew Cosentino).