Handicapping the 2014 World Cup…by Uni (Part the Second)

By Phil Hecken

Back today with the conclusion of our “predictions” for the World Cup draw, based on the uniform preferences on Dan Egner, who did a bang-up job of reviewing all 32 uniforms (and predicting success or failure, based upon those uniforms). If you missed yesterday’s post, click here.

Yesterday Dan thoroughly examined each kit and, like the World Cup itself, had two teams advancing from each of the eight groups (Group A-H). You can look at the uniforms of each team in each group here: Group A, Group B, Group C, Group D, Group E, Group F, Group G, and Group H.

With 16 teams advancing in Dan’s better-uni scenario, let’s see how the rest of the tournament plays out. Here’s Dan:

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ROUND OF 16

Brazil v. Australia

It’s a tough battle, but the Soceroos just don’t have enough to pull off the upset over host Brazil. Brazil’s blue kit, neon yellow monochrome third kit crest and rainbow third shorts knock off the collars and kangaroo/ostrich combo of the Aussies.

WINNER: Brazil

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Colombia v. England

Close matchup. The Brits overtake the Colombians in this one, due to three factors: England’s crest looks sharper than Colombia’s, the red top is better than either Colombia top, and the Colombia monochrome crest on the second jersey just isn’t up to snuff.

WINNER: England

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France v. Iran

Not too much of a close one here. Iran’s cheetah jerseys were enough to get them out of the group stage, but this is the knockout round, and a cheetah face is not enough to beat the classic and simplistic look of the French.

WINNER: France

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Germany v. Russia

Not a tough call with this matchup either. Russia’s cubist primary red/maroon jersey and vodka bottle secondary top is no match for the German’s white chevron look and black and red secondary kit.

WINNER: Germany

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Netherlands v. Croatia

The two sides come out even in the primary kit category. The Dutch pulled some new tricks out with its secondary kit, and the different shades of blue and gradient look is tough to beat. The Dutch secondary kit does the trick and pushes them past the Croats.

WINNER: Netherlands

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Uruguay v. Ivory Coast

A matchup of two underwhelming sides. This comes down to two simple things: colors and crests. The Ivorian’s green and orange combo smokes the sky blue/black/white/gold combo of Uruguay. And nothing, literally nothing, the Uruguayans could possibly have beats and Elephant crest.

WINNER: Ivory Coast

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Argentina v. Ecuador

Not much of a battle. Argentina’s look is classic with a modern twist, and their secondary kit is next level quality. Ecuador’s yellow top is nice, but nice doesn’t move a team to the quarterfinals. The condor crest gave them a chance, but the Argentines are just too strong.

WINNER: Argentina

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Belgium v. Portugal

Both teams feature nice primary and secondary kits. Portugal’s primary jersey stands out above almost any other in the field. Belgium offers a nice counter attack with its shadow royal crown. When it comes to the secondary kits, Portugal’s white top with blue trim and blue shorts is down right sexy. Belgium’s black secondary with the red and yellow sash is cute. Sexy beats cute.

WINNER: Portugal

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QUARTER-FINALS

Brazil v. England

An absolute nail biter. England’s look is refreshing and for the first time in a long time not dull and drab. Even though Brazil’s classic yellow top is one of the weaker ones the side has featured in years, the blue secondary top and rainbow striped shorts of the third kits move them on.

WINNER: Brazil

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France v. Germany

The simplified Gallic Rooster crest definitely works for France, as does the French flag motif of the primary kit. The German primary is slightly outdone by the French. However, Germany’s secondary top is head and shoulders above France’s secondary tops. For that reason alone, the Germans roll on to the semis.

WINNER: Germany

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Netherlands v. Ivory Coast

Out of all the quarterfinal matchups, this contest is not even close. The iconic orange tops of the Dutch are cleaner and sharper than the orange kits of the Ivoirians. And the blue secondary kits of the Dutch smoke both Ivorian kits out of the water. The only thing that gave Ivory Coast a puncher’s chance was the elephant.

WINNER: Netherlands

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Argentina v. Portugal

The best looking matchup in the quarter finals. Portugal’s new and cutting edge striped look is exciting, and actually edges out the classic Argentina striped look. When it comes down to the secondary kits, Portugal’s blue and white look outshine the blue secondary of Argentina. In a somewhat surprising upset, Portugal moves on.

WINNER: Portugal

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SEMI-FINALS

Brazil v. Germany

A clash of the titans. Germany-Brazil. Home side or Euro side? Germany’s two strips have nothing going against them, but the Brazilians have three things going for them. For this reason, the Brazilians advance to the finals and send the Germans to their second straight third place game.

WINNER: Brazil

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Netherlands v. Portugal

A bit of a surprise semi-final matchup, the two Euro sides duke it out for the final spot in the finals. The regal lion versus the cross/coat of arms. In this matchup, the lion loses. The cross/coat of arms is the perfect mixture of colors (white, red, blue, and gold), and the lion just doesn’t hold up. When it comes to the jerseys, Portugal’s red top beats out the orange of the Dutch. The white secondary of Portugal also tops the blue futuristic look of the Netherlands’ second top.

WINNER: Portugal

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THIRD PLACE GAME

Germany v. Netherlands

Germany salvages a win in its final match and takes home the third place medal. The Dutch lion is better looking than Germany’s crest, but the German jerseys are flat out better looking than the Dutch’s.

WINNER: Germany

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FINAL

Brazil v. Portugal

An aesthetic matchup unlike any other. The two Portuguese-speaking sides in the tournament face off for the right to be called World Champions. It comes down to three categories: crest, primary kit, and secondary kit. When it comes to crest, the advantage goes to Portugal. Primary jersey: Portugal. Secondary jersey: Brazil. In tight race, Portugal takes down its former colony to become the 2014 FIFA World Cup Champions.

WINNER: Portugal

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Thanks, Dan! Great stuff — now the month-long *wait* to see how your predictions fare. OK, readers, what say you? Think Dan’s picks are spot on, way off-the-mark, or somewhere in between?

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Uni Tweaks Concepts

We have another new set of tweaks, er…concepts today. After discussion with a number of readers, it’s probably more apropos to call most of the reader submissions “concepts” rather than tweaks. So that’s that.

So if you’ve concept for any sport, or just a tweak or wholesale revision, send them my way.

Please do try to keep your descriptions to ~50 words (give or take) per image — if you have three uniform concepts in one image, then obviously, you can go a little over, but no novels, OK? OK!. You guys have usually been good with keeping the descriptions pretty short, and I thank you for that.

Like the colorizations, I’m going to run these as inline pics — click on each one to enlarge.

And so, lets begin:

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First up today is Ed Westfield, Jr., who submitted the logo tweak below before the Clips were sold for $2B. Still, Seattle-ites can dream of a return of hoops to their City:

Phil,

Quick mockup of the shape of things to come, maybe?…

Thanks,

-EddieAtari

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Next up is George Hunt with a ton of concepts for the Green Bay Packers:

Hey Phil,

I absolutely love Uni-Watch and I enjoy all the uni concepts.

I am submitting 21 possible uniform combinations for the Packers. I have included throwbacks from the 1940’s, Kelly Greens from the 1950’s and the current 1929 alternate uni.

I wish the Pack would go back to the Lombardi-Era unis (extra stripes on the sleeves and socks, and no striped collar)

I believe a uniform is more attractive when socks match the sleeves and also when a consistant striping pattern is used throught the uniform. (check out the white away uniforms with matching stripes on white socks- used only for one season, 1960, I think)

Thanks and hope I see this on UW!!!

Also, do you know of some good uniform designing graphics programs? I am still using MS Paint.

Respectfully,

SGT George Hunt, US Army
SHAPE, Belgium

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And we close today with Alan Filipczak who has a logo not so much for a team, but a season (albeit in the style of an old baseball club):

Phil,

With spring in full swing, many of us living in northern climes are busy repressing memories of our long, cold, record-setting winter. While the memory is still fresh, I took the opportunity to commemorate the winter with an emblem that I made by altering an old Houston baseball logo.

Alan Filipczak

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And that’s it for today. Back with more next time.

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15th Anniversary Gathering

If we haven’t reminded you guys enough, don’t forget we’ll be having a Uni Watch 15th-anniversary party this coming Tuesday, June 10, at 7:30pm, in the back room at Sheep Station.

This is a rare evening gathering for NYC-area Uni Watchers (due to scheduling issues with Paul and myself), but there’s no Rangers/Kings game to distract, the World Cup won’t have started, and the weather is supposed to be bee-you-tee-ful, so hopefully if you’re in the area you’ll be able to stop by! Should be a great time.

Paul and I look forward to having you buy us a few rounds seeing you there.

Stirrups mandatory optional!

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Uni Watch News Ticker:

Not too many submissions yesterday, so we’ll do this Old School style.

The Kissing Suzy Kolber site has a bunch of logos done anime style (thanks to Andy [no last name given] who found them “odd and interesting”). … Speaking of logo tweaks, TSN is at it again and featuring NHL logos, this time in Pokemon style (from Seth Moorman). … Our friend Chris Creamer did a nice job of covering the ‘North Stars vs. Nordiques’ MiLB game game the other day (h/t to Paul for the spot). … adidas has released a new commercial starring David Beckham, Zinedine Zidane, Gareth Bale and Lucas Moura. The four global soccer stars prepare for World Cup with their own “House Match.” Check it out here (nice find by Simon Landon). … Maryland, for some reason, had a composite bow hanging in their dugout for their Super Regional vs. Virginia (good spot by Jerome Trout). … Here is a shot of new Hornets’ mascot Hugo with Jordan brand sneakers (from Mark Collins). … Yesterday the Memphis Redbirds became some kind of Egyptian-themed team as they saluted Memphis, Egypt. … Check out this awesome awesome 1930’s NHL team shields poster (via Todd Radom). … Yesterday the Rays and Mariners wore Brooklyn throwbacks (in warmups) to honor the late Don Zimmer — Rays wearing home whites, Mariners in road grays. During the ceremony, all the Rays went high-cuffed (thanks to Kevin Kleinhans for that shot). … Pacific Rim correspondent Jeremy Brahm reports that FIVB is playing a non-beach match outside: “Italy is going to play Poland outdoors for a FIVB World League match to(day).” … Check out this great photo of Chicago Cubs great Ferguson Jenkins standing at his locker during spring training, 1968 (nice find by Bob Gassel). … “Probably not the best photo, but here’s a photo of Westminster’s socks,” says Jonathan Karberg. “They’re a high school in St. Louis that just won their 4th straight baseball state championship.” … Speaking of hosiery, check out the pretty crazy socks seen in the Akron Rubber Ducks bullpen at the Harrisburg Senators last night (nice shot by Mike Wissman). They “Certainly wouldn’t meet Comrade Marshall’s standard,” he adds. … Still more hosiery: Darren O’Day with some nice high stirrups, in a color vs. color game with O’s & A’s both in their alt uniforms (thanks to Mike Wernsing, Jr.). … The black (non-fade) Jags helmet “is a toy out of a vending machine,” explains Gene Sanny. “Looks like a ball, but actually it splits in half and there’s a squatty body you attach — looks like a bobble head but the head doesn’t bobble.” … Two from Phil Lawson: a cool site/link with Jack Kirby NFL art and a vintage 1955 Post Sugar Crisp Ad with MLB Patches. … Yesterday, the NY Yankees AAA affiliate, the SWB RailRiders, wore special 25th anniversary commemorative jerseys, with the logos of all 3 of the team’s historical names on them (Red Barons, Yankees, and RailRiders). Michael Slesinski, who took those shots, adds, “I can tell you the pinstripes are printed on (Navy stripes on the front, cardinal red stripes on the back), and the logos are printed patches that are stitched onto the jerseys.” … And finally, Bob Dlotkowski sent in a photo from last night’s Chicago Uni Watch gathering (I recognize a few faces in that crowd, but if you were there, please identify yourself!) — Looked like fun and Bob said “Great event tonight. The best conversation.”

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And that’s going to do it for this second Sunday in May. Welp — Cali Chrome didn’t win the Belmont (no surprise, really — at least a half-dozen winners of the first two legs of the Triple Crown have failed to win the Belmont since the last winner in 1978), and hey, how about that hockey game in LA last night (Kings won in 2OT, btw, if you went to bed early).

Everyone have a great weekend — and for you NYC-area readers — hope to see you on Tuesday night as we celebrate the 15th Anniversary of Uni Watch (the column, not the blog). Should be great.

Follow me on Twitter @PhilHecken.

Peace.

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“I decided that I am going to root for them (Australia) until they win a World Cup. Or until they flop *their* way into defeating a more worthy opponent.”
— Jim Vilk