Stands for ‘Unbelievably Crappy-Looking Attire’

UCLA debuted their new super-stretchies last night, and it was a complete disaster. All the same problems we’ve seen with NFL stretchies were on display: teeny-tiny TV numbers; NOB lettering that looks like it was done at the mall; NOBs and other parts of the jersey being stretch-distorted; and so on.

But the saddest part was the team’s UCLA stripes, which were severely truncated and often distorted. I mean, come on, people — this is UCLA, the school that invented UCLA stripes, and you’re gonna leave them with this? That’s just pathetic.

These stripes do not deserve to be called UCLA stripes. What shall we call them — Ree-didas stripes? Ree-diculous stripes? The floor is open for other suggestions.

And if there are any teams out there wearing true UCLA stripes (or whatever the modern approximation might be, since genuine wraparounds are a thing of the past), those teams should no longer be stained with the now-disgraced term “UCLA.” So if there’s a school out there upholding the spirit of UCLA inserts, let’s rename the stripes for that school. Again, your nominations are welcome.

Meanwhile, here’s a really good video clip that shows just how stretchy these jerseys are.

Oh, and Oregon played too. But for once their uniforms were of secondary interest.

ESPN reminder: In case you missed it yesterday, my latest ESPN column is all about exposed armpits on the gridiron.

Collector’s Corner, by Brinke Guthrie

The second game I ever attended was the Boston Patriots at the Bengals, Dec. 20, 1970. This game included Patriots QB Joe Kapp, who was previously a star of the first NFL team I really dug, the Vikes. So when I saw this item, I thought, “Joe Kapp wore #22? Since when?” Maybe it’s a college shot, but he went to Cal, and that jersey is green. Weird.

In other eBay finds:

• This game program has been featured on Uni Watch before, but it’s worth taking another peek. Look at those helmets!

• Paul would no doubt love this steakhouse-sponsored baseball jerseys, which was submitted by reader Bo Baize.

• Ya know, you don’t usually see football helmets depicted facing this direction.

• Here’s a nifty 1969 Baseball Stars stamp album. Never seen that one before.

• In a similar vein, here’s a nice 1968 NFL autograph book.

• Nothing says 1970s NFL giveaways like IHOP. I’ve seen that mug before, but this game is new to me.

Finally, this has nothing to with eBay, but I’m looking for a 1440 x 900 version of this photo. If anyone can point me in the right direction, please get in touch.

Seen something on eBay that you think would make good Collector’s Corner fodder? Send your submissions here.

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Uni Watch News Ticker: Derek Holland’s nickname is “Dutch Oven,” and he has it embroidered onto his glove. Further details here (with thanks to Mark Douglas). ”¦ The Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins have unveiled some special sweaters to honor firefighters, cops, and the military (with thanks to Rob Ullman). ”¦ Hmmm, what did Wilson Alvarez have written under his brim? (As spotted by Andy Chalifour.) ”¦ No photo, but Jesse Weidaw says former Cowboys lineman Flozell Adams, now with the Steelers, had some Dallas-style tie-down action on his jersey last weekend. ”¦ New hoops uniforms for Georgia Tech, Wyoming, and Boston College. ”¦ In a related item, here’s an article with good background info on Maryland’s and BC’s new hoops uniforms (big thanks to Gabe Kleinfeld). ”¦ Bryce Harper, now toiling in the Arizona Fall League, has been cutting little slits in his pajama cuffs (with thanks to Jonathon Binet). ”¦ Yesterday I opined that the Mariners would be better off wearing a green-billed cap — instead of a solid navy cap — with their new green throwback jersey. That prompted a communiqué from M’s marketing VP Kevin Martinez: “We were torn on bringing back the caps with the navy crown and green bill. While we wore them along with the green jerseys on our Turn Back the Clock Day last year, the response on the caps wasn’t nearly as positive as it was for the jerseys. You might recall that in the mid-’90s we wore the green jersey at home and on the road. When we wore it on the road, it was worn with the navy cap. At the time, our fans strongly preferred the navy cap over the two-tone design. However, we will see how it plays this year. If there is a demand, we could add the two-tone cap as an alternate in 2012.” ”¦ Dean Gemmell, who gave curling lessons to me and Phil last winter, interviewed me earlier this week for his curling podcast. ”¦ New mask design for Marty Biron (with thanks to Alan Kreit). ”¦ We’ve all seen high school football teams that NCAA logos. Here’s an excellent article about that phenomenon. ”¦ In a related item, here’s a high school football team using the Atlanta Braves’ cap logo. That’s Abbeville High from south Alabama (good find by Kris McInnis). ”¦ “Louisiana Tech has one of the most storied programs in women’s college basketball,” says Chris Mycoskie. “Three national championships, iconic powder blue uniforms. Unfortunately, it appears they are now going the BFBS route.” ”¦ Have I mentioned the increasing overlap of sports and superheroes? Lots more illos from this series here. ”¦ Here’s another view of King Felix in the Mariners’ new green alt. ”¦ Eric Grgurich tipped me wise to an apparel brand called PondRocket, which has a T-shirt design based on the Miracle on Ice team’s pant trim, another tee with a center-ice motif, and a cap whose interior taping is made from skate laces. Interesting stuff. ”¦ Check out this old shot of the Kansas Jayhawks scoreboard, circa 1932. Man, was that really the best way they could think of to indicate the yards to go? (Nice find by Larry Bodnovich.) ”¦ Nick Swisher is doing the superstitious high-cuffed thing (with thanks to Brooks Simpson).