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You Look Like a Monkey … and What’s Wrong with That?

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It was six years ago today that the first entry on this site was published. I think it’s fair to say that nobody, least of all me, could have foreseen the many ways in which Uni Watch has grown since then. Thanks, people — it’s been a fun ride so far, with plenty more to come.

As per our recent annual custom, the site’s birthday is also Purple Amnesty Day. Today — and only today, at least until next year — you can request a purple-inclusive card design when signing up for the Uni Watch Membership Program. No rain checks, no do-overs, no exceptions, no foolin’, so get those wretched purple design orders in today. You snooze, you lose!

Meanwhile: New ESPN column today. Enjoy.

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Uni Watch News Ticker: UCLA athletics director Dan Guerrero offered some thoughts and some news regarding the school’s football uniforms in a recent note to fans (from David Lassen). … New marching band uniforms for James Madison University (from Jon Solomonson). … Did you know there was such a thing as sports-themed flyswatters? Not only that, but a bunch of them are washing up ashore in Alaska (from Joe Hollomon). … Here’s the latest poorly reasoned article trying to pretend that uniform ads are inevitable. Amdist the faulty logic and flat-out inaccuracies, there’s a link to a story from last month that I hadn’t seen before, which confirms that the NBA won’t have uniform ads this fall, just like I’ve been saying all along (from Jay Palmer). … New uniforms for the St. Cloud Rox (from Alan Poff). … Dan Miller has created a video blog about his New Era cap collection. … Totally digging this shot of Jesse Owens with a winged jersey design (from Ben Fortney). … You know things have gotten out of hand when there’s such a thing as throwback soap (from Mark Coale). … New batting helmet design for USA softball, and holy shit is it a stinker (from Ronnie Poore). … New football uniforms for Arkansas? Could be (from Leo Thornton). … Main Street in Bradford, Vermont, looks like my kinda place (big thanks to Tris Wykes). ”¦ Outmania! That’s Josh Outman, now with the Rockies, on Tuesday night. “Broadcasters Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper actually cracked on it, saying something like ‘How’d we ever think that was a good look?,'” says Ian Stewart. ”¦ Who’s that in the satin jersey? None other than future First Lady Rosalyn Carter, wearing her Plains High School girls’ basketball uniform (from Mike Raymer). ”¦ This is too funny: Remember how I mentioned that my podiatrist is very uni-aware? Turns out his son, Dave Schmirer, is a longtime Uni Watch reader. “When you mentioned seeing a uni-aware podiatrist in Brooklyn about a month ago, I thought of asking my dad if he was the doc you visited, but I figured that would be too much of a coincidence,” he writes. “But after reading Wednesday’s entry, I decided I had to at least ask him if he was the podiatrist described, and indeed he was!” Small world. ”¦ I didn’t get to see or hear last night’s Mets/Reds game, but Robert Silverman offers this uni-related tidbit: “Howie Rose mentioned that the Metswore the pinstripe-free snow white unis [which are normally worn for day games] because Johan Santana [who pitched last night] prefers them to the pinstripes.” ”¦ Due to a visa snafu, Camden Riversharks starting catcher Alvin Colina is stuck in Venezuela. But they had already lettered up a jersey for him, and last night it was worn by a new player, Scott Knazek, who went two-for-three with a home run, double, two runs scored, and two RBI. “I’ve nicknamed him Pseudocolina,” says Adam Brodsky. ”¦ Victor Cruz of the Giants tweeted a photo of his Super Bowl ring (thanks, Phil). ”¦ Here’s a bunch of Rob Ullman’s latest illustration commissions from Uni Watch readers, most of them in his familiar sexy pin-up style but also some family-oriented illos. Nice! ”¦ Mike Hersh just bought this awesome-looking 1971 MLB gift catalog on eBay. I’m looking forward to seeing scans of it once he receives it from the seller.

 
  
 
Comments (144)

    I always cringe a bit when I click on a link to new college football uniforms and “Nike Blog” comes up. Happy Birthday Uni Watch!

    Paul, there’s no link to the Rosalynn (2 n’s) Carter Pic.

    Happy Birthday Uni Watch!! The Blog, that is. To me Uni Watch goes back a lot further to Slate and the Village Voice…

    To me Uni Watch goes back a lot further…

    Indeed. Later this month will be the 13th anniversary of the first Uni Watch column….

    Congratulations on six great years, Paul!

    (I really don’t know how you put up with us sometimes…)

    Happy B-Day Uni Watch!
    Hooray to Paul and everyone who has contributed through the years to this great and unique website.

    Cheers!
    ~B

    I’m proud to share my birthday with Uni Watch as well.

    Others who were also born on this day:

    Sugar Ray Leonard
    Jim Nantz
    Danny Manning
    Matt Cassel
    Tony Parker
    Matt Ryan

    In addition…

    Dennis Hopper (of Hoosiers fame) – link

    and Bob Saget (in a SF Giants jacket) – link

    I finally get my Charlotte Hornets card! Can’t wait for the name to come back

    Remember, those pinstripes are lime green, cyan, turquoise, and maroon. But you knew that; I’m preaching to the choir.

    Actually, they’re (in order from left to right) royal, cyan, purple & kelly green, at least according to the Glen Rice gamer I’ve got hanging on the wall…

    Happy birthday uni-watch and congrats to Paul on all his success that has come from this site. Well deserved.

    Happy Birthday, UniWatch.

    I’m a day late to this discussion, but the story about orange and the Marlins’ hats and helmets brings me back to the Orioles:

    1. Has anyone noticed that the Orioles catcher wears a helmet with a white triangle front (which was the 1970s and 1980s version) and the batters wear helmets with the boxy white fronts (which matches the original and current versions of the soft cap)?

    2. Have they worn the orange jerseys this year yet?

    3. They need to ditch that black O’s cap and bring back the orange-front cartoon bird cap instead.

    Matt Wieters started wearing the 70’s style catching helmet last year, before the team switched to the new cartoon bird, so it’s a carry over from then. All of the other catchers (and base coaches for that matter) wear the new style helmet.

    OMG. Who on Gods earth chose that USA softball Helmet. Seriously what human being alive could actually think that is a good looking helmet? Sometimes I think humanity is doomed!

    Happy Birthday Uniwatch.

    I love Rob Ullman’s work, and I’m glad to see I’m not the only artist comfortable doing adult-themed and family-themed artwork.

    Happy Sixth Birthday, Awesomest Site on the Intertubes, and thanks for putting up with my bloviating.

    I’m not exactly a pro. I did contribute a few uniform tweaks to the weekend editions of this site. And I published a comic book (“Oblivion”) in 1989. But my testy relations with clients and rudimentary grasp of entrepreneurship shot down my free-lancery. I mostly draw to banish demons.

    “… Here’s a bunch of Rob Ullman’s latest illustration commissions from Uni Watch readers, most of them in his familiar sexy pin-up style but also some family-oriented illos. Nice! …”

    Great franchise, Rob.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    What, no love for my beloved Mets being awarded the 2013 ASG?
    (Obligatory photo link)to make it uni-worthy

    Happy Birthday to the first website I read as soon as I get in my cube! Thanks for the laughs, insights, and ALWAYS sweet pics.

    Same here! It used to be the sthird or fourth website I checked in the morning but has easily jumped to first. Happy birthday Uni Watch.
    Just an idea, since it’s amnesty day for purple, maybe you could go with a purple background instead of usual green.

    I really hope those Arkansas unis aren’t real, but I fear that they are. I am so sick of the multiple combination, multiple helment, non-school-colors trend in uniforms today. The games are uglier, and teams no longer have any identity. They look different every week, and it only hurts their “brand” (and I hate that word to begin with), imo. You should have a home unifrom and a road uniform, and ONE helmet. The helmet is supposed to be your symbol.

    Why do teams let the shoe companies do this? It’s a truly awful trend from which I fear there is no going back from.

    Colleges and universities ‘let’ athletic companies do this because said colleges and universities get paid millions of dollars by said companies, including hundreds of thousands for the head coaches, plus hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of free equipment.

    How hard is that to understand, especially in these days when all of the scum and gutter trash are illegally downloading music and movies as fast as they possibly can.

    Thing is, you are ‘out of touch’ with regards to today’s youth and popular culture.

    You are no longer hip.

    You are no longer cool.

    If you hate these multicolored and varied unis so much, but a black and white tv or better yet, throw your tv out the window where it may crush some puppies or a small child and listen to the games on radio.

    I hear what you’re saying, but I have to admit that I like that white helmet. As a ‘Bama fan, I’ve always thought we should pull out our long-forgotten white helmets when playing Arky. If the Hogs wanted to return the favor, I would have no problem with it.

    The key is moderation. Kids want “new” stuff? Fine. Pull out something new on special occasions, once or twice a season. But the proliferation of new uniform combinations for every game is just a symptom of our ADD society. Hopefully, it’s just a fad and will stop sooner or later.

    Hopefully, it’s just a fad and will stop sooner or later.

    It is. Give it a few more years and it’ll die down a bit. We’ve already seen somewhat of an example – in 2006, the Tennessee Titans introduced the light blue pants and wore 7 different uniform combinations. In 2011, they wore just 2. All these schools that get new uniforms with 256 different combos aren’t going to wear them all. They’ll shuffle things around a bit for a few years then settle in on the 3-4 looks that they like. I’m sure a few teams like Oregon will keep shuffling indefinitely, but I just don’t see it happening for most teams.

    *points and laughs*

    Oh, you’re serious. I will grant you that it might have died down in a few years if Under Armour hadn’t grown as big as it has.

    But since they went all crazytown on Maryland’s football unis, that was a slap in the face with a lead glove and huge ‘FUCK YOU!!’ to Nike and the inevitable result will be an ever escalating war of alt uni awesomeness.

    I eagerly await the day when Nike or Under Armour unleashes a plaid themed football uni. There will be much fapping on that day, I assure you.

    That Cubs logo on the 1971 MLB catalog looks hinky. Note the way circle follows the contours of the “C”.

    I’m not wild about the lameness of that A’s jacket either.

    link

    I can’t imagine the quality of merchandise available to fans was as good in 1971 as it is today. I think exact replicas of caps and jerseys, etc. for fans was still a a ways off.

    Agreed. If you wore a baseball cap before 1979, folks assumed you were a baseball player.

    I think that Cubs logo is similar to one the team used back in the 1940s and 50s. (Quick check of Dressed to the Nines suggests 1941-56).

    Do I spy with my little eye a Nats v2.0 mug at lower left next to the Mets stein?

    Gerard: Biggs, what does that mean, hinky?
    Biggs: I don’t know. Strange. Weird.
    Gerard: Well, why don’t you say strange or weird? I mean hinky, that has no meaning.
    Biggs: Well, we say hinky.
    Gerard: I don’t want you guys using words with no meaning. I’m taking the stairs.

    Happy Birthday, Uni Watch! Six awesome years of starting my mornings and helping to waste time at work.

    Happy anniversary, Paul! If I’m doing the math right, that means that next year UW the blog will account for the majority of UW the concept’s existence. Somehow that seems significant.

    SO MUCH FOR THE “OFFICIAL” EXPLANATION:

    That NFL spokesman who said the NFL Equipment patch is for practice-related activities and the shield is reserved for game-day activities might be putting a spin on things.

    Like the Jets, the Eagles practice jerseys also do not have an NFL logo on them:
    link

    Teams with advertising patches on their practice jerseys (including the Iggles and Jets) are not wearing the NFL Equipment logo.

    Bobby D playing for Cleveland? No way, and Joe S would never be a Phillie, and where’s the Langford card? It’s a travesty!

    [Kidding! Mostly.]

    Thanks for doing the ESPN column, Paul! I’m an F&M grad and I’d heard about the clothing company before, but not about the surprisingly enlightened resolution of the situation. I bet the European company isn’t rushing to print shirts with the F&M nickname, though–that’d be “Dips” (short for Diplomats, which is only incrementally better). Hey, it builds character.

    Happy 6th, Uni Watch!

    Very interesting piece today Paul. Its nice to see the world isn’t completely full of sue-happy jerks.

    Very interesting column. The weird thing is I’ve heard stories of American concepts being popular fashion and other items all over the world, particularly in Asia. You pointed that out brilliantly with the side story about the name Redskins being used in France. This is what sets you apart, Paul, so happy anniversary to the Uni Watch Blog.

    Why is there so much talk about advertising on uniforms? We all ready have them and the companies pay big bucks for it. Here it’s called logo creep. I don’t see a real difference except logo creep is somewhat less intrusive.

    I’m sure the point has been made but I don’t all ways read the comments

    and Happy Anniversary to my favorite blo…. morning reading material

    Maybe some of us don’t want to see it go any further. The logo creep we have now is still just manufacturer logos. There’s a difference between your car having a Ford logo and it looking like a NASCAR so that you hypothetically paid $1000 less for it. Maybe we don’t need advertisements on every square inch of visible space. Maybe the idea that a professional sports franchise needs even more money as they negotiate a $10M/year contract for an unproven rookie is just ridiculous. Maybe on the rare occasion that I watch an NBA game, I want to see the Chicago Bulls & Detroit Pistons, not the “Taco Bell Bulls of Chicago” and the Geico – 10 Minutes Will Save You 15% on Car Insurance Pistons of Detroit”, regardless of how cute the little talking gecko might be.

    My favorite team always had advertising on it: it advertises the New York Rangers.

    The thing with jersey sponsorship is the ads often are very fickle. I keep thinking of seeing the Sharp logo on the Manchester United jerseys or the Carlsberg logo on the Liverpool for the longest time, but now they change them almost on an annual basis. Heck, stateside, I’m still getting used to seeing the Quaker logo on the front of the Chicago Fire jersey.

    One interesting point in the Grantland article was if the teams went with a team jersey sponsor, how would it affect the players’ individual endorsements? I keep thinking of how the 1992 U.S. Olympic Dream Team was outfitted by Reebok, causing problems for Michael Jordan who was (and still is) a solid Nike guy. I keep seeing that image of him on the medal stand with the link draped over the Reebok logo on his team warm-up suit (it looks like teammate and fellow Nike guy Scottie Pippen was hiding his Reebok logo also).

    “One interesting point in the Grantland article was if the teams went with a team jersey sponsor, how would it affect the players’ individual endorsements?”

    presumably the same as in European football Рits up to the player to either sort out their endorsement or not bother playing for . of course, there are the odd few non-commercial exemptions, such as Freddy Kanout̩ not wanting to advertise gambling at Sevilla.

    Hard to imagine someone turning down a place in a major international championships squad because they’re Nike and the national team is with Adi

    My big issue would be individual fan reaction to sponsorship choices. If one of my favorite teams decided to splash a logo of a company that I absolutely refuse to support on the front of their uniform, then I would be royally pissed off.

    but it appears for most on this sight the logo creep which is nothing more than advertisement pisses me off royally. the other question is if Nike is paying big bucks to have the deal, will they have any say on teams adding other sponsorship? i wonder if the contracts address this?

    Wow! Six years! Happy birthday, Uni Watch!

    As it happens, I’m working an illo of a gal in a Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket for the Heroes Con charity auction. I’ll try and finish it today, try to assuage my guilt ver how much purple I’m unleashing on the world!

    “The [white] uniform proved to be a hit with our players and ‘prospects’; however, we all admit that the timing of its unveiling could have been better.”

    Agreed, Mr. Guerrero. A 50-0 loss to USC is bad timing to unveil a uniform. Think UCLA will ever pull out those uniforms again?

    Happy Birthday UW! Thanks for giving me at least one guaranteed reason to get out of bed every morning, or at least roll over and pick up my phone ;)

    Has anyone else noticed that the Coast throwback soap is “limited edtion”?… Does it really cost that much to proofread?

    Did you ever read The Onion article about the limited-edition extension cords? It read, “Everything In The Whole World Now Collectible”.

    Still finding Coast at a discount grocery. Going on 20 plus years with that stuff. And the labeling (at least for now) mentions nothing about being a throwback. Maybe it’s something they’re (P&G?) coming out with. I am amazed at what this site will bring me each and every day.

    happy bday uni watch. absolutely love the site.

    Arkansas with black unis and white helmets? wow. link UA used to have white helmets, but not with the wild hog decal. But I doubt these unis have anything to do with throwbacks haha

    Hsppy Birthday, Uni Watch. Thanks for 6 years of excellent reading.

    Ullman is awesome. I had a commission done of a girl I was dating a few years back. The relationship didn’t work out, but the pic is still amazing. I’m actually getting married soon, so I’ll have to get one done of the wife. Really love his work.

    Paul, thanks for being my favorite way to start the day for the past 6 years! I’ve really appreciated everything that you, Phil, and the rest of the crew have put into this.

    Happy Birthday, uni(-) watch!! Congrats to Paul and all of the people who have put in the hard work to make it the best blog on the interwebs!!

    We can only hope. Why they switched back to gray is beyond me.

    I’m pretty sure the Nike model from April still had a gray one though. Maybe they’re gonna wear the 1980 uniform as a throwback or something?

    Not only is the facemask white, but I’ve never seen that particular style before. Anyone know if it’s new, custom, or a type that used to be only for youth players (like Peyton Hillis’)?

    Thanks to everyone who helped me with the teams that have sponsored other teams. Yesterday I published an entry on my F1 blog (sorry, it’s in Spanish) and talked about that and mentioned you guys (2nd paragraph).
    link
    Besides your examples, I found one more in NASCAR Mexico where Chivas sponsored Antonio Pérez’s (brother of the current F1 driver) car. The logo is the small circle in the front of the hood.
    link
    Thanks again for your help

    6 years!
    they’ve flown by, for sure.
    thanks for all the great posts and the great message group.
    keep up the good work!

    oh. and go vegan!
    -skott

    The current ESPN article is exactly why I love Uni Watch. Great stuff Paul!

    As a proud card-carrying member of the obsessive study of athletics aesthetics, a very happy birthday to all involved.

    “He” being Paul, yes? Moyer didn’t pitch against the Gnats this week, but link.

    As for the broadcaster’s reaction (“How’d we ever think that was a good look?”), are they opining that the first, oh, 80 years of baseball history when every damn player looked like this (at least since sanis came in) were ugly?

    Regardless of how you feel about properly worn stirrups (and I admit I love ’em), those comments are beyond insipid.

    I think what they meant was the super-high stirrups, not stirrups in general. They’ve been pretty accepting of other stirrup-clad pitchers such as Moyer and Jimenez in recent years. Outman’s (what a great pitcher name BTW) are out there, as is his number (88).

    If Outman wore those stirrups as a Giant, Kruk and Kuip would mess their pants. Biggest, and most blatant, set of homers this side of Hawk Harrelson.

    Happy Anniversary Uni Watch

    Probably just my West Coast bias, but ever since I heard these two describe a Clayton Kershaw shutout as “Decent” and “Not as impressive as Lincecum’s performance today” (on a day when CK dominated the Giants, and Lincecum admitted he didn’t have his best stuff) I can’t take anything they say seriously.

    That birthday card with the bellhop monkey holding flowers reminds me of a Forbes.com article that was published yesterday. It’s an interview with actress Zooey Deschanel. At the beginning of the article, Zooey is being interviewed in the lobby of a hotel, and a bellhop gives her a flower from the front desk. The flower was specifically a peony, and I don’t know much about flowers but after a quick Google image search, the flowers on that birthday card actually kinda look like peonies!

    Stuff like this makes me wonder…

    1) What are the odds that I’d randomly read an article about a bellhop giving someone flowers one day, and then the very next day randomly see an image of a bellhop holding flowers. Don’t you just love synchronicity?

    2) What are the odds that bellhop is a Uni Watcher? I mean, bellhops do wear uniforms. He may have become a bellhop because he liked what they wear. For instance, when I was a teen I wanted to become a Canadian mountie just because of their unis!

    Here is the Zooey interview:
    link

    The only thing I know about peonies is that they attract ants. So I can’t stand them.

    I enjoyed that F&M article Paul. I played against them in college, so that brought back some (fairly recent) memories.

    I remember their football unis being just essentially Penn St ripoffs, and and even their field was plain.

    I always wished they had used their very intricate “F&M” logo more, maybe on the helmets. Theres nothing wrong with the Penn St look, but I feel that the plain white helmet and blue stripe thing should pretty much just be PSUs look.

    Of course, considering the fact that F&M is in the heart of PA Amish Country, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised at how plain their unis were, given the surroundings.

    Through the early 80’s F&M’s football team did have the F&M letter-mark on the white helmets. A few years later they decided to remove the decals. I agree that they should’ve kept them.

    i think that USA softball lid its sweet i think ur just old school…if thats Arkansas new unis i like just kinda looks like ASU a lil bit to me…and do u know when we will c this yrs pro combat unis for the NCAA

    Eh, the softball helmet is sorta neat, but it’s also really dumb for a national team. Let some team with an aquatic mascot wear it instead.

    While watching last night Devils/Rangers game I noticed that the Rangers were sporting a 94 sticker on the back of thier helmets. Knowing hockey history, I understand its meaning but don’t remember seeing it against the Capitals (in the pervious round). Have other teams done something like it ?

    I looked at some pictures from the first two rounds and it is there too. (at least on the home lids)

    It’s a memorial sticker for the late Derek Boogaard. A former Ranger, he passed away on May 13, 2011.

    I don’t seem to recall it during the season…And I didn’t think he work 94

    The Riversharks look awful with red as their primary(was that Von Hayes’ idea?) and NOB jerseys.

    This was by far their best look (thanks in part to PL):

    link

    That was a great old-school look for the Riversharks. Too bad they abandoned it. And the NOBs look clunky when you put them on a panel and affix it over pinstripes.

    Congrats on six years Paul and all of your folks that have interned over the years.

    A little something something on the redneck-midgets-going-in-circles front. It looks like Michael Waltrip Racing has taken the old college football pride sticker concept for all three of it’s teams and using it to recognize their pit crews.

    “At Michael Waltrip Racing, success is measured on the crew helmets. This year MWR began awarding helmet stickers like college football teams.

    “The No. 55 helmets carry Aaron’s Lucky Dog stickers, the No. 15 crew earns 5-hour ENERGY bottle decals and the No. 56 team receives NAPA Battery logos.”

    Here’s the link to the article:
    link

    And some photos:
    link
    link

    Don’t know if it was posted in teh comments or not, but here is a story of a Late-1800s era base ball game played in Houston back on May 5th: link

    Slideshow: link

    Additionally, Houston Press also had a story of the 1904 Houston Travelers baseball team: link

    Happy Birthday Uni Watch! I have been with you since your Village Voice days. Question: I have not seen the Mets wear black as of yet, and that is a good thing, but, is there some sort of rule that a team must wear their alts a minimal number of times per season?

    There are no rules regarding alternate uniforms in MLB. A team can choose not to have any, and the teams that do can wear them as many or as few times as they want.

    Happy 6th UniWatch!! A daily dose of (in)sanity every day. A special thanks to Phil an all those who take time to do the weekend editions – truly labors of love for all!

    Today’s alternate headline could have been…”Purple Reign”.

    Love LOVE those Ullman illos, especially the Bruins gal. Hubba hubba! I keep meaning to get my better half memorialized this way, in a Red Wings sweater of course. I’ve always loved Rob’s work from way back in the Savage Love days.

    The oversized IU logo a la the Nike Combat Boise State version, looks good. Someone needs to do oversized helmet logo concepts for other schools as well.

    Pacers up 2-1 over the Heat!
    link
    And I’m starting to understand the reasoning behind things like having a yellow-out when your team’s wearing white. That’s a nice contrast between the fans and the two teams there.

    Speaking of teams from Miami, the Marlins went with black caps again. BFS. Not getting on their case yet, though.

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